Episode 41 Exploring Body Respect and Connection and the Power of Gratitude with Iris Angellys

In today's episode, I'm in conversation with Iris Angellys, author of the book Your Body Is the Portal to Your Soul".  We discuss the importance of treating our bodies with respect an even reverence, as if they are deserving of care (because they are)!

We discuss the concept of aging gracefully and confidently and societal beauty standards. Iris and I explore the shifting beauty perception as we grow older, tackling the unfair expectations society places on women, and the power that stems from self-acceptance. 

We also discuss the transformative power of gratitude. Iris shares intimate accounts of how a simple mindset shift towards gratitude can trigger a positive catalyst in our overall health and wellbeing.

We then discuss strategies for lifestyle changes, listening to our bodies and experimenting with habits. Prepare to be inspired as we journey together toward celebrating and caring for our bodies.

Links: 

Website: irisangellys.com

YouTube@irisangellys

 Iris’s books available on all the online retailers.

For signed copies go through her website. https://www.irisangellys.com/body-portal-soul-book (international shipping on request)

There is also a self-assessment quiz https://www.irisangellys.com/quiz

Learn more about Fiona's speaking, radio and consultation services at Informed Health: https://informedhealth.com.au/

Sign up to receive our newsletter by clicking here.

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Credit for the music used in this podcast:

The Beat of Nature

Music by Olexy from Pixabay

Transcript

Fiona Kane: 0:31

Welcome to the Wellness Connection podcast with Fiona Kane. I'm your host, Fiona Kane, and today I have a guest and her name is Iris Angellys. Hi Iris.

Iris Angellys: 0:44

Hello Fiona, how are you? Oh well, thanks. How are you today? You're going really well. I'm excited to be here.

Fiona Kane: 0:54

So would you like to introduce yourself?

Iris Angellys: 0:59

Yes, thank you. So my name is Iris Angellys. I am author of your Body is a Portal to your Soul book and also course, and also of the book Passion to Thrive, and I facilitate workshops and I'm also a speaker. But yeah, those are the main ones.

Fiona Kane: 1:19

Okay, today the reason I'm also-. So keep going.

Iris Angellys: 1:25

I was just thinking. Well, I'm also a healthcare professional and I've lived in many different countries and currently it's Australia, so I thought it might be cute to find out. Where are you from, originally? Denmark.

Fiona Kane: 1:39

Okay, yeah, I detected an accent there, but I wasn't quite sure where you were from. You've still got a very good English. It has been a long time. Have you been in Australia for a while?

Iris Angellys: 1:51

Yes, it's been a long time and before that. I was in Scotland for two years, and before that I was in UK for four years, so I've spoken English as the primary language for a long time.

Fiona Kane: 2:02

Yeah, so you'd have-. I reckon if in Denmark they probably think that you've got a really weird accent, do they?

Iris Angellys: 2:09

Nobody's commented, but maybe they're too polite, I don't know.

Fiona Kane: 2:15

I've got a friend from Scotland and she's been here for nearly 30 years, but her Scottish friends think that she's got an Australian accent. She so does not have an Australian accent. So I find that people often end up with this sort of unusual accent.

Iris Angellys: 2:32

That's a little bit of everything, but not quite anything.

Fiona Kane: 2:39

So the reason that I have you on today is I know that one of the topics I talk to my clients and to on this podcast about is about respectful relationship with our body. I'm always talking to people about connecting with your body and having this respectful relationship, and so I brought you on to talk about that because I know it's one of your specialties. So one of the things that I might start by saying sometimes I used to talk to my clients about loving your body, loving yourself, and I found that sometimes that was a bit too much for people or that's a bit overwhelming, or maybe that just doesn't fit. I've started now talking about respecting, having a respectful relationship with your body. So where do you sit on that? What language do you use? What do you find works your way into this for people?

Iris Angellys: 3:41

I actually make it really big.

Iris Angellys: 3:44

I talk about feeling reverence for your body.

Iris Angellys: 3:48

I notice exactly the same things that we do, that culturally, we've been conditioned to hate our bodies, even or dislike them or focus on all the things that are wrong, when really there is incredible gift that nature has given us to experience this life.

Iris Angellys: 4:07

And they know everything that is needed to be known in order to navigate life in the 3D physical reality, feeling well and thriving. You know, they know how much rest they need, they know when they need it, they know what foods they need, they know when they need water, they know who's safe and who's not, and we just get conditioned out of really understanding what it is they're trying to say to tell us. So we get this disconnection happening. And my thing is you know your body wants to be a friend. It's the only being you will absolutely be together with until the very last breath that you draw. So why wouldn't you want to make your body your best friend and try to understand what it's telling you, with the different sensations that it can draw your attention with, and making your partner in life so you can have a fun, thriving, enjoyable, beautiful experience right until that last breath?

Fiona Kane: 5:07

Yeah, it's a really important relationship. Exactly that I say to my clients it's the longest relationship you'll have in your life and the most important one, really, because it's like you said it's. You know, whether you like it or not, this is the body that you have for life. So the quicker that you are able to just accept that and embrace that, I think the easier it is. The longer we battle it, the tougher life is for us.

Iris Angellys: 5:39

Yeah, and the sticker you're probably going to get too, because you keep ignoring what your body is trying to tell you, yes, yeah, and then it gets really unpopular.

Fiona Kane: 5:49

So I like that reverence, reverence, yeah, and when you think about, it too, I always. Sorry, there's a bit of a delay here, so it's going to be a little bit weird, but that's okay so.

Iris Angellys: 6:08

It was just like the way that we treat our bodies, like culture. I have been culturally conditioned to treat our bodies, so basically look at it as a resource, as a tool, as something that's just meant to work, and if it doesn't, we just take a pill or do something quick to like make it feel alright again. It's actually the same way that we treat our Earth as well, and that's always been my thing. You know like this planet sustains us and gives us everything that we have. You know whether it's your newest gadget or whether it's your body, like everything that we have and own we really only have it online Actually belongs to and comes from the Earth.

Iris Angellys: 6:51

So my feeling is that the more we can have reverence for the life that is inherent in our body, this intelligent creature that's our body, the more we can also have reverence for the planet and for all the other living creatures, and to me, that's one of the necessary steps to actually have happier, healthier.

Iris Angellys: 7:14

You know relationships, families, communities, humanity, planet, essentially. So the work that you do is super important, because if you've got one person who is starting to go, hey, I actually like my body, I know it's not flawless and I know it's got this and that, but, wow, it feels good to be in here. And the more we then give permission to other people to explore that too and go hey, she looks like she's really having a good time living in her body. And when I say having a good time, I don't mean drinking, staying up late, eating junk food, all that stuff that doesn't feel good to a body. But if you can genuinely feel good in your body and you have this vitality and you have this expansion, that happens when your body feels well, other people might get curious and go well, she can do it. Well, maybe I can do that too. It becomes more accessible and there's this beautiful ripple effect that happens. So, yes, I celebrate that.

Fiona Kane: 8:10

Yes, especially for young people, so anyone who has children. I think this is vitally important because the amount of times that you will see that particularly women, but men as well that we will tell children that they are beautiful and all of those lovely things, but then in front of them we will look in the mirror and berate ourselves and say horrible things about ourselves, and they're learning that they're learning what they see, not necessarily what you say. So it's really really I cannot emphasize enough the power of when you embody and when you are respectful of your body. That that really does. It changes everything for the people around you, but particularly the young people who are looking to you for how to be in the world. And you are exactly right that when we do have a respect for ourselves, then we have more respect for, just in general, people and things around us. So it starts with you, but just that powerful role model for children. It's really, really important that they see that.

Iris Angellys: 9:24

Yeah, yeah, there's a bit of irony. I mean, I don't know about you I suspect you're in this camp too but like the older I've got, the more I've experienced, the more I've been tried and tested and found that, hey, I actually like myself and I have found my worth and it's okay for me to rest all those sorts of things. I actually feel much more comfortable in my body now than when I was a late teenager or in my 20s when I was probably at my physically most beautiful, so I didn't like being my own skin back at that point. And you look at these beautiful young people that are just glorious to look at and they're like, oh, I've got this and I've got that, and my heart just breaks because like, well, you're so beautiful. Let's just celebrate that.

Iris Angellys: 10:10

If you don't measure up to some model in a magazine that's been altered and photoshopped anyway, can we celebrate the uniqueness and the beauty that's in how we're going to be inherent, in those crinkles and those tiny flaws that make you so uniquely, you, and tell the story of the life that you've lived? Can we shift away from just appearances to what does this body being through and what is the energy that comes off the person that lives in this body. That's where the beauty is. If you're just pretty, nobody's going to be interested. If you're vibrant and I don't want to say charismatic if you're authentic, then people will be drawn to like muster flame, and you don't need to be pretty for that.

Fiona Kane: 11:01

Yeah, people are actually drawn to your energy and the energy you give out can be ugly or can be attractive, but it's got nothing to do with what you look like on the outside. And I know that one of the. I saw a woman once just walking down the street and she just looked. She just had this aura about her. She just looked beautiful because she was so confident and she actually, when I stopped and thought about how she actually looked, if you sort of compared her to what you're supposed to look like in the magazines or whatever that's obviously that changes all the time and it's different everywhere. But anyway, this woman put it this way she was not the typical model. Look, she was much older than me. At the time she was probably my age. I think I was in my twenties. When I was, she was probably my age. Now she's probably in the fifties. So old lady from my perspective. When I was in my twenties and she wasn't she didn't have any of the things that you would associate with beauty, but she was really beautiful and I realized it was her confidence. It was the energy and confidence shining out from. So you're absolutely right that you do. It shines from within and it's funny how we get that more as we get older.

Fiona Kane: 12:30

I think I was listening to a podcast this morning and I think this lady she referred to she said oh, when I was younger. She said it's like I had a Corvette but I didn't know how to drive it. And it is like that. It is like that when you're younger and I think very much for women too is that we actually, when we do come of age and we're sort of at that age where we start to probably realize the sort of power that we have, I suppose, in regards to our attractiveness and, you know, sexual attractiveness and all of those things.

Fiona Kane: 13:13

When that happens, we usually well, I don't know I speak for myself anyway, but what I've said around me is we're usually not ready, quite ready, for it yet and we don't know how to manage it and we don't know how to drive it, and we often, like you were saying before, we disrespect it or don't understand it or disassociate from ourselves and our bodies. And then, yes, when we get older, we look back, we think, oh my God, we don't look like that anymore. But it kind of doesn't matter, because we've sort of somehow you just I don't know if you just fit in your skin better as you get older, or you just have more acceptance? I think you just get more and more acceptance as you get older, don't you? But this is a skin I'm in.

Iris Angellys: 14:05

Yes, that's the part of that's part of stepping into the wise woman, isn't it Like actually resisting what is is futile on one hand and then, on the other hand, it's going to make your life so much more difficult because all the energy that goes into creating that resistance is not available to you elsewhere and it magnifies the thing you're resisting. So, yeah, acceptance is such a massively important quality to develop. And I certainly know when I was young, I had very fixed idea about how the world should be and these are the rules and that's the right thing to do and it's the wrong thing to do, and everything is pretty black and white. And now it's like, well, there's not only many shades of gray, but there's actually also a whole rainbow full of colors as well. You know, like it's life is so multi-dimensional and I didn't know that when I was young and it was actually a very scary place to be really in that youthful body that I didn't like.

Iris Angellys: 15:10

The thing with women I digress, but like the thing with women is that when we are teenagers, we're taught that not only are we responsible for what we do, what we say, how we act, how we show up. We actually are also responsible for how somebody else I usually am male will respond to us and like that's super unfair and also actually impossible. You know, like I need to live my life so that somebody else doesn't react to me in a certain way Like that just freaks you down and certainly made me feel incredibly unsafe, and that's, I guess, one of the nicer things about growing older too, is that you know you're not quite as eye-catching as I'm, not as eye-catching now as I was then, and it means that all that energy is getting pushed my way isn't getting pushed my way anymore and I feel really comfortable with that, you know, because I know that what's going to attract somebody now is going to be my energy.

Fiona Kane: 16:10

And that is the tricky thing. Before I hit the corvette reference. It's very true, because we come of age and there's this whole expectation on us from so many different directions to understand and to navigate and no one really gives you instructions and we get lots of mixed messages and it's very, very confusing.

Fiona Kane: 16:30

So, yeah, you're right, there is something about being in the 50s that I find that, as a woman anyway, you've become quite invisible, and that can actually be. That can be a good thing. It's a good thing and a bad thing, but it's kind of like it's almost. It's almost like wearing an invisibility cape. What's the thing in Harry Potter, you know, the invisibility cape thing? Yeah, yeah, and it's kind of there's freedom in that as well, you know.

Iris Angellys: 17:01

Yes, there's freedom in it and, again, the thing that's going to speak for you more than anything else is going to be your energy and your confidence. Like that lady that you talked about, that walked down the road, you know she wasn't invisible.

Fiona Kane: 17:16

No, no, no, she wasn't.

Iris Angellys: 17:22

And something that you mentioned before is.

Fiona Kane: 17:25

So you can put it on and check it off. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. Something that you did mention before I think is actually worth highlighting. You were talking about the energy that it takes to resist vice-up that resistance that we have. So when we have resistance to our body, it does take a lot of energy. It really really does, and I don't think we truly understand that until you actually just put it down.

Iris Angellys: 17:55

Yeah, yeah. And you know where does the resistance happen? It usually happens in our bodies. So not only our bodies aren't trying to talk to us and getting ignored and put in their place, but they then also get to hold all the stuff that's being resisted within themselves Because we're not, you know, prepared to deal with it or, you know, change our point of view or nurture our bodies in the way that they are so richly deserved.

Iris Angellys: 18:22

You think about what your body does for you every day and you don't even have to think about it. Like you don't have to think about breathing, you don't have to think about digesting your food. You don't have to think about, you know, walking. You just decide I want to go there and your muscles just do their thing and the brain does its thing to get back. Like it's such an incredible symphony of coordination and integration. You know, like every cell is affected by everything that happens in every other cell in the body and they all know that. And we don't have to give it a thought. We just have to, you know, use our conscious volition to do whatever it is we want to do, and most of the basics are taken care of. Like it's miraculous when you stop and think about it.

Fiona Kane: 19:06

Yeah, yeah, it really is. And when you start studying anatomy and physiology and pharmacology and all these different biochemistry and you understand how everything works in your body, you even more and more you're like, oh my, it's doing that, and it's doing that, and it does that too, and it's doing that at the same time. It is quite. It's a miracle that you know that you wake up every day. All things that your body does, it's really amazing. So I think it is important to remember that, it's important to understand that.

Fiona Kane: 19:41

And you know and I think it's the other analogy that I use with people is, you know, people would take their car in for a service, as mine is in for a service today, but they don't think about their body in the same way, that it actually needs regular upkeep and regular care. So often I know what I did when I was much younger is I kind of just you know, if you're using the car analogy, you just drove it into the ditch, basically, then wondered why, wondered why you left there and the wheels are spinning and nothing's happening. You know, if you don't give it any TLC, then it's not going to be drivable.

Iris Angellys: 20:23

And bodies don't come with spare parts. You know like it's not like if you drive your car into the ditch then you can probably get some spare parts, but bodies don't come with spare parts and you know the spare parts that are available are not half as good as what the original was. So you know, the only thing that's really is worth, you know, appreciating what you've got and taking care of it. I find that the pathways are actually shifting. That mindset is gratitude. So we talked about how we focus on the floors and everything that's not right and everything isn't quite up to scratch and everything doesn't look like an airbrushed model. But if we can like we talked about before if we can start just feeling gratitude for the fact that my body breathes itself in the middle of the night and I don't have to think about that, and the food digest itself and I don't have to think about that, my hands can move and they can make a nice dinner, or they can caress my child, or they can write a letter, or my voice can speak words or sing or dance, like. If you can actually focus on all the things that are going well and that are enjoyable and feel grateful for that, that gratitude will actually change the biochemistry in our bodies and that gratitude, just that gratitude for 10 minutes a day, will actually make your body healthier. So we are so powerful and our focus is so crucial in, you know, actually creating our health in particular, but also the rest of our lives in general.

Iris Angellys: 21:53

And for me, gratitude has been game changing. I started doing that as a conscious practice about 20 years ago and it's just. I've not looked back to like still. Gratitudes is the thing that I always come back to when they're going to get stuff. You know I kind of go okay, I know it's tough right now, but I know down the track I will be grateful for this experience because I'll have discovered a new facet of myself or have grown or have left behind a whole habit. So even just knowing that I will be feeling grateful for something down the track helps me through the difficult patches. So I highly recommend gratitude.

Fiona Kane: 22:31

Yeah, and for me, and way into gratitude, it was a couple of things. So the first thing was I put down all of my Cosmo and Clio magazines that I used to read all of those years ago, because I was constantly wanting to be like the people in the magazines, and they were all six foot tall models, and I was five foot tall, like for starters, just based on, you know, the fact that I was a foot shorter than all of them. I didn't have those legs. It doesn't matter what clothes I get or what makeup I buy, or whether I buy the latest this or the latest that I'm never going to look like that. Right, it's just not going to happen, and the equivalent these days would be Instagram or wherever else people are getting those images of, because I think one of the reasons that we have trouble having gratitudes is we're comparing ourselves as comparison artists, we're comparing ourselves to all of these other people, and these days it's even worse, because they were just rather tall, beautiful girls then, but now they're all you know. They're AI, they're AI, they're airbrush, they're just not even. They don't even look like that. You know, that's right. Yes, exactly. The other thing for me, though, in regards to feeling grateful is sometimes it takes looking out of yourself and not looking at the models and not looking at the Insta influencers.

Fiona Kane: 23:57

But an example for me and I've used this before but I was at the gym one day and I was doing some weights I don't do very heavy weights, but anyway I was doing my little weights and after my weights I was going to go into the pool, as a pool right next to the gym area, and I was kind of grumbling about oh you know, this is hard work and doing the grumble grumble thing. And then a young woman got sort of wheeled in in her wheelchair and she would have only been about 20 or something and she I don't know, I think she might have had sort of spina bifida or some other issue like that and her carer had to get her out of the wheelchair and place her into all the positions around all the weights and things to use them. And you know, after I had my workout I went into the change room, got changed, just went into the pool and she did the same thing. But of course she had to get taken into the change room and someone had to change her and then they had to wheel her to the pool and then I had to get her into the pool and and she, like I said, she was only about 20. And I just thought I get to do this and I get to choose when I do this.

Fiona Kane: 25:14

I get to drive myself here. I get to park out the front, walk up the stairs. I don't have to go on the lift. I get to change myself in the change room and I get to choose when I go in the pool or what equipment I use, how I want to use it, and I get to do all that with myself, without having to rely on anybody else. I get to do this, and that has changed my outlook. From there on. It's like whenever I'm doing anything like that and doing this sort of grumble bum thing, I kind of always remind myself I get to and that is actually luckier than a whole bunch of people.

Iris Angellys: 25:52

Is that the truth? Like, even if you don't live in a war zone and you've got a roof over your head, food on your table, clothes on your back, a place to sleep, somebody who cares about you, you're winning at life.

Fiona Kane: 26:03

Like seriously, yeah, yeah, well, I mean you've got access to the internet and can listen to this podcast.

Iris Angellys: 26:12

Right, right, clean water in your, in your tap. Yeah, exactly, there are so many things to be grateful for. If you only expand your horizon a little bit, like you say, you know, like, take the focus away from outward and turn it inward, and the magic is, the more grateful you are, the more you will have to be grateful for. So it's a very magical, virtuous circle. I love those words. I get to do this, like I've used that myself. Oh, I've got to do the dishes. Actually, I just got to share a really lovely meal with people that I love and I've got, you know, running water in my tap. I get to do the dishes because that's just part of, you know, living. You know it's one of those things that just have to be done. And I get to do them because I'm privileged to have plates and soaps.

Fiona Kane: 27:04

Yeah, and when we, when we use the word get to, it infers choice as opposed to something that's been, you know, forced upon us. And I think, as human beings, the more we feel, the more we feel that we have choice, the the the better, the less resistant we are to things because we're choosing it. And also get to infers that I understand how lucky I am to be able to do that, because there's other people in the world who can't do that. So the fact that I get to you know, I'm the same, my husband does a lot of the cooking but I do a lot of the cleaning and I'll be there cleaning up the pots and pans or whatever. And but then I look around my kitchen. I think I was fabulous kitchen and I've got these great pots and pans and I've got electricity and I just had this great meal. And how lucky am I that I get to do this and I've got a dishwasher. I mean really, really.

Iris Angellys: 28:03

Yeah, yeah, where's the problem? Yes, yes, that's right, I think. I think being aware of choice is also one of those super empowering things, like we don't necessarily get to choose what happens to us not always but we get to choose how we look at it and how we respond. And that little reframe that you brought up with the get to or practicing gratitude, that is such a it's such a tiny little choice to make. I'm going to be grateful for this instead of rumbling about it. Such a tiny choice to make, but the ripple effects and the knock on effects are absolutely massive, especially for keep repeating that choice.

Fiona Kane: 28:46

Yeah, yes, definitely. So I wanted to ask you I know we've already been talking about it, but just if you have any particular, when you're talking to people about, you know, having that respect for their bodies or having that reference for their bodies, what are the what, what are the strategies that you recommend? So, obviously, gratitude is a really, really big one. Is there anything else that you recommend for people to help them to get into that place where they're having that reference for their body?

Iris Angellys: 29:21

I think the key is to keep it simple. I think a lot of the time it sounds overwhelming because I should exercise and I should stop smoking and I should stop drinking, and I should stop drinking coffee too, actually, and I should get more rest and all these shoulds happen. So I'm going to go back to choice and say keep the choices, especially to start with, really manageable. So my favourite example is if you always have coffee in the morning, why not make a different choice? Maybe try a tea and then there's herbal teas or have a glass of water, or sleep in a bit or go for a walk or just do something different. Feel what that feels like. And then, if coffee is definitely something that supports you and it's your thing and your day is just so much better for doing it, keep doing it. But at least you now know, a that you have choice in the matter and B why you're making that choice in the morning. And it introduces to the subconscious mind the city of oh, I've got choice about this. So then you kind of go on to the next thing. Okay, I should go to bed earlier. Okay, so how can I? How can I do that? Maybe I'll just set an alarm at a certain time and that'll remind me that I need to switch off my screen and I need to check in. Does my body want rest? Yes, it does. Okay, well, then start going to bed.

Iris Angellys: 30:44

At that point, you know, or whatever it is like I've used the example before of playing the piano you know, like, oh, I want to be a concert pianist. Well, it's not going to happen unless you practice. And you know, if you know being a concert pianist, how do you know that you're actually on your way? Like, do you start taking lessons? Do you get an accountability body that you check in with you, send a little message saying, okay, I practice today. Or you find a really beautiful piece of music that's so super inspiring that you know your life will not keep being complete unless you know how to play that. Like, everybody is an individual and your strategy has got to suit you.

Iris Angellys: 31:24

But I would say, start with a really, really small things and look at it as play. You know, you get to. Here, we go again, we get to. You get to make the choices for your life. You get to choose what goes into a day. You get to we might need to pause. Just so, keep the. Keep the choices really small, really manageable. You will get better and better at making choices and look at it as play.

Iris Angellys: 31:58

So, okay, today I'll play at being the person who goes to bed at eight. Did that work for me? They did not work for me. Today, I'll be the person that goes to bed at eleven thirty. Did that work for me? Did it not work for me? What did my body feel like afterwards? What's the feedback I'm getting? Like some people generally feel best if they go better at eleven thirty and see until whatever the next day nine o'clock especially teenagers, right, um? So yes, how you do that? Just change a few parameters and notice what that feels like. And if it feels good and I mean genuinely good, authentically good, not like it feels good to have a coffee right now, but then I'm like super tired afterwards I'm really wired and tired at the same time and you know all what you know all like that if I generally feel better for it, why not keep going with that choice and then tackle the next thing? So it doesn't have to be hard, it doesn't need to be some consistency.

Fiona Kane: 32:52

Make it play, so it's fun, and make it manageable, and get an accountability buddy, if you need to, you know somebody that you check in with and go oh, today I did my XYZ, you know, because that's going to be motivating too yeah, yeah, I really like the idea of making it play because I think that we sometimes, when we're making changes to our life or our lifestyle or whatever we get in our mind, I've got to do the thing in the thing in the thing and we turn it into.

Fiona Kane: 33:24

We turn it into something that's hard and so, you know, something that's impossible and something that's a climbing a mountain and all this sort of carry on, when it's kind of, if you just make it and also trying to, you know, go a bit earlier or not, have coffee one day, or try herbal tea or whatever, you don't have to do that forever. That's the whole point of play. The point of play is just playing around and just see what works. And so when it's played so if you kind of said you've got to go to bed at 9 30 every night and you have to never have coffee again and you have to, you can't do this and you can't like you know, obviously that's not play and that feels very, very hard. Whereas if you say, let's play with all these different ideas, maybe do one thing at a time and see what works for you, see what doesn't, again that is giving you the absolute freedom. It's your choice and you play around with it and then, ultimately, you choose to stick with what works for you.

Iris Angellys: 34:29

And the thing is to remember why you do anything Like if somebody, if you go to the doctor and say, oh, you've got to lose weight and you've got to start exercising and you've got to stop drinking, that's like an outside authority telling you what to do and what not to do, and we don't have that choice. If you decide those things based on I want to feel really good in my body, and I know that what I'm doing right now is not supporting my body or my life, Mind you, having said that, I suspect there's a lot of people out there who don't actually know what it feels like to feel good in their bodies. You know, like I walk down the main street and it's like I'm sure a lot of people that are past haven't ever felt good in their lives because those unhelpful habits have been instilled right from the wedgo. And in that case, use your imagination, Look at Wonder Woman, look at how amazing and vital she is, and you know like you might not end up like Wonder Woman, but you know at least there's a role model there to maybe pick somebody a bit closer to home, Pick somebody that you know that does whatever it is you want to do really well and maybe ask them how did you get to where you, what do you do differently from what I'm doing?

Iris Angellys: 35:42

And then again just break it down into small bite sizes and then, if it's somebody close to you, it makes it more achievable than Wonder Woman. So maybe forget about Wonder Woman.

Fiona Kane: 35:54

Find a role model and do what they do.

Fiona Kane: 35:56

Well, whoever inspires you really, yeah, and one thing I found is that people ask me because I was one of those people who never really I was never really super healthy felt well in my life, so I didn't.

Fiona Kane: 36:11

When people, when I when I thought about changing my diet or making changes, I couldn't understand why I would make those changes. And I know one thing I do with my clients is sort of people say to me well, how do you get people to stop eating this or that or whatever? And I say, well, I don't get them to do it. What I get them to do is I get them to, like you said, play, try different things. I get them or I encourage them to notice how they feel. And then I find that then they make choices that work for them. And once you have a reference point for what feeling good is like, how you know what I do this and I feel this way, then you understand that I do that and I feel that way. Then it's a choice, right, but it's a choice based on the fact that you're connected and you've noticed that you know the coffee makes you feel great.

Fiona Kane: 37:12

The coffee stops you from sleeping, whichever, I don't know, whatever it is for you. So you've connected in and you've just noticed that works for you, that doesn't. This works for me, and it's not always the same as it is for somebody else. That's the whole point of connecting in to your body.

Iris Angellys: 37:30

Yeah, and it changes over time as well. You know, like back to the sleeping thing, tina, just do best if they go to bed late and sleep late. You know all the people do better if they get up earlier and go to bed earlier. Nothing is fixed and literally the more you play with it, the more you're going to find that place of vitality and feeling good in your body.

Fiona Kane: 37:52

Yes, and you don't need to do it perfectly, you just have to approach it with the spirit of play, and I think just even that makes a big difference.

Iris Angellys: 38:05

Absolutely, absolutely Like 3D. Physical life is not perfect. It never will be. Like it's not built into the system that perfection can happen. So you know, the more we can accept that, the easier it gets, because, well, I'm not doing this for anybody else, I'm doing this so that I can really enjoy my life and you know who are you accountable for, for your own life. Only you, really like. There isn't somebody else who stands up with a checkbox and said, oh, this, this, this. You know, you felt that this is like well, it's my life. Whatever I choose has consequences and if I can consciously choose, I can choose a set of consequences that mean that my life is vital and exciting and fun and feels good.

Fiona Kane: 38:53

Yeah, exactly, and I think that that's just that's really. That's really important to acknowledge that ultimately. Just getting back to you know, right in the beginning we were talking about this. We're connecting that, having respect, or having having reverence for your body. Well, why do you do it? Because you've got that body for the rest of your life and you live with the consequences, so you make your own choices, but once you understand what the different consequences are, then hopefully you make better choices for you, but you don't have to up to you your body and it is your choice, indeed.

Iris Angellys: 39:33

Yeah.

Fiona Kane: 39:36

So is there anything you would like to add before we finish up?

Iris Angellys: 39:43

I think we have covered a lot of really yummy topics actually, so that feels pretty complete to me.

Fiona Kane: 39:54

Yeah, yeah, I think that I like the term reverence and I'm glad that you reminded me of the importance of play as a way of approaching this. Yeah, and yeah, it doesn't have to be perfect as well, so all of those things, but yeah, I think there's, there's a lot in this, and and gratitude. I think you know, get rid of those Well, for me it was Cosmo magazine, for them it might be Instagram and start to develop some gratitude, and that can make a big difference, for sure. Yeah, and Iris, if people would like to get in contact with you, how can they find you? I've got a website.

Iris Angellys: 40:42

It's www dot irisangelis dot com, so just my name, and on there there's links to the books and the course and I am self-assessment quiz to see how much you actually are living in alignment with what your soul calls for. I also have a YouTube channel, Iris Angellys, which has a ton of podcasts and meditations and different readings and things like that for inspiration and enjoyment. And you know, there's some really short meditations that can be really useful if you're trying to start to meditate, for example, just pick a little five minute one and then play with some of the other ones maybe. And I've also got a Facebook page which is called passion to thrive that's the name of my first book, and I do run workshops that can you Passion to thrive.

Fiona Kane: 41:34

Yes, and I've run workshop that can be attended by zoom too, and that's on my Facebook page as well.

Iris Angellys: 41:41

Okay, well, I will put all of those links, the various links, into the show notes as well.

Fiona Kane: 41:48

So if anyone's looking for that, they'll be in the show notes. I would like to thank you, iris. It's been really great chatting to you today, so thank you so much for joining us. You too, fiona, thank you so much, and thank you for everything you do in the world. I'm sure that your clients are really, really happy to be here.

Iris Angellys: 42:05

You too, Fiona, thank you so much, and thank you for everything you do in the world. I'm sure that your clients are thriving with joy and gratitude for how you help them through whatever difficulties they're facing. That's something else, isn't it? Community is so important, and you're being held by somebody who knows what it feels like and knows the steps and can demonstrate that this way actually will get you to where you want to go. It's just so super important, this thing about all this rugged individual. I can do everything myself. I can't wait for humans. It just doesn't. So, yeah, I really appreciate what you do in the world, creating that beautiful ripple effect. So thank you so much for inviting me to come on your show. I really appreciate it.

Fiona Kane: 42:50

Well, thank you, and thank you for being part of that too. I really appreciate it too.

Iris Angellys: 42:56

Thank you. It's a pleasure.

Fiona Kane: 42:59

So, for those of you who are listening and watching, please like, subscribe and share and give us any feedback, and otherwise I hope you enjoyed this episode and I'll see you all again next week. Thank you, bye, bye.