Episode 52 Food Freedom: Embracing Personal Choice

You can't eat that! In this episode I discuss language around food and the power of agency and choice.

I explore the distinction between emotional reactions and conscious choices when it comes to nutrition, How do you honour the inner child, but not put her in the driver's seat?

Striking a balance that honors our body's needs and our soul's cravings. It is all about taking ownership of our food choices, and embracing the responsibility that comes with freedom.

Ending with some tips about enjoying Easter, without missing out on your favourite treats.

Learn more about Fiona's speaking, radio and consultation services at Informed Health: https://informedhealth.com.au/

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Credit for the music used in this podcast:

The Beat of Nature

Music by Olexy from Pixabay

Transcript

Fiona Kane: 0:31

Hello and welcome to the Wellness Connection Podcast with Fiona Kane. I'm your host, Fiona Kane. We have Easter coming up at the moment and I wanted to talk to you a little bit about some of the language we use around food that can really affect us in regards to things like choices around Easter, but just in general. So one of the things that I often see I'm a nutritionist, of course, so as a nutritionist, sometimes clients will say to me well, what can I eat? Or the other thing I see is that if maybe a client of mine is at a barbecue or at a restaurant with friends and they know that that person's coming to see me, they will say to them something like what are you allowed to eat? And I think it's just really important to talk about this language because I think a lot of what causes us issues around food is language.

Fiona Kane: 1:31

So I work with adults and, as an adult, what are you allowed to eat? Well, you're allowed to eat whatever you like. The restriction is about what you've got access to, what you can afford, that kind of thing, of course, and if you have religious restrictions that you choose to abide by, all of that right. That's obviously. That's not what this is about by all of that. Right, that's obviously that's not what this is about, but what I'm talking about is that you have choice and you have agency, and so you can eat whatever you like. As an adult, though, you just learn how to understand what the consequences are, and then you learn whether or not that's something that you want to have, or how often you want to have it that kind of thing not, that's something that you want to have, or how often you want to have it, that kind of thing. So, as adults, we have it's. So there's two different kinds of main kinds of freedom, right?

Fiona Kane: 2:20

So a lot of us think of freedom as freedom from, so freedom I don't have to do what the person says that you know so, and often, with our dietary protocols, we've got a lot of stuff about whether it's our childhood, or it could be boarding school, or some place that we went to, or the time that we went through where we didn't have much money, or whatever. We've got these sort of times where we were restricted in our food in some way. It could be all the diets that we've been on. It could be, like I said, a financial time where you couldn't afford it. Maybe it could be a parent or a spouse or someone who restricted your eating.

Fiona Kane: 2:59

And so a lot of us have a real kind of you know, don't tell me what to do kind of attitude around food, and it comes from those things. And so when we think about food, we think about it from a point of view of don't tell me what to do, sort of thing. And so what happens is when you do bring up things like you know, what can I eat, or am I allowed to eat such and such, or you have to eat, or you should, or whatever, what often comes up for people is that the child part of them, the rebellious child part of them, the rebellious child part of them that says you know, don't tell me what to do. And so if you find that you sabotage yourself a lot in regards to your diet, you'll probably find that that child in you is coming up quite a bit. I think it especially comes up in us because we've got all different parts of ourself and the child is part of that. I think it especially comes up if that child hasn't been listened to or maybe isn't being listened to. So, for example, if you just have no joy in your life. If you're not doing anything that's just fun or for pleasure, then that child in you will show itself and often will be around food choices. It will want you to buy the chocolate bars or the candy or the cake or whatever the thing is that your child would really love to have. So be really, really aware that when we talk about can I eat that, can you eat that, should you eat that, whatever? The question should be more around do I want to eat that, can you eat that? Should you eat that, whatever? The question should be more around do I want to eat that, and does it nourish me? Does it not? Do I care? Because you may or may not care about that. Again, it's totally up to you. You're a grown up, you make your decisions.

Fiona Kane: 4:48

But what I was talking about freedom before, and I was talking about freedom from well, we also have freedom to. So the freedom to is sometimes where people get a bit unstuck, because you see it maybe in sometimes in people who retire or the situation changes it could even be that people have always had kids and now they're empty nesters, right, and they can be quite lost when they have freedom too, because they haven't had freedom, too, for a long time not that much freedom, but freedom, too, is actually what you have a choice to do. So we all have 24 hours in a day, but you have a choice about whether or not you choose to exercise, or whether or not you get a job, or whether or not you eat well, or whether or not you make sure you get enough sleep and, again, I know that there's restrictions in different things for various reasons, whether it be where you live, jobs and all that sort of stuff but I'm just talking generally. There's always exceptions, I know, but generally we have choices around a lot of those things, and so we have freedom to. So freedom to is actually a lot of responsibility, though. So you've got freedom to look after yourself so that you stay as well as possible, or you've got freedom to completely trash your body right, so you have that freedom.

Fiona Kane: 6:18

So when you know that you've got freedom to, then it is about what choices that you make for that freedom, what choices you make with that freedom, and so when someone says, or when you whether you saying to yourself, or someone says to you, or some Instagram video or some sort of influencer is saying should you eat that. Can you eat that? You shouldn't eat that. What I would just come back to is do you want to eat that and why do you want to eat that? How does that fit with your overall diet and lifestyle? How does that help you achieve whatever you want in regards to your health and well-being? Does it make you feel healthy and well and give you energy? Does it make you feel tired and bloated? So, if it does make you feel tired and bloated, maybe you still want to have it, but do you want to have it right before you have to work for the day, or when you've got an exam on or something? Maybe you don't right? So it's just about making choices, just making conscious choices.

Fiona Kane: 7:26

So I would just remind you that and this is where our, like I said, the rebellious child comes up. For a lot of us who have, you know, anyone who can relate to emotional or stress, eating is the rebellious child comes up. For a lot of us who have, you know, anyone who can relate to emotional or stress, eating is often our rebellious child that comes up and just a reminder to kind of know that that's what's happening. It's like, oh, I know what's happening. I can, I'm acting like a you know, notice how you're acting Like I'm acting like a three-year-old or a five-year-old or 12-year-old. Notice that. Oh, okay, I'm acting like a 12-year-old. What I've done is I've triggered that inner child in myself. Okay, so let's take a step back about the decision around the food Can I eat it? Do I want to eat it? Will I eat it? All of those things Make your choices. But it's really about empowering yourself and you being in charge and you are in the driver's seat of what you choose to eat. So that's a responsibility. That's your choice, your freedom to your freedom to choose.

Fiona Kane: 8:25

So just be aware of language, be aware of other people triggering different responses in you, because often a lot of what we do is programmed from childhood, from the world we live in, from whether it be the media or just our social, what we're exposed to. A lot of what we do, a lot of our responses to things in life, they are actually these kind of real, automated responses, and those automated responses will usually come from our personal experiences, whatever they are, and so a lot of our responses are not always relevant or the right response or within what's the word? I'm trying to think of, the word word finding issues, uh, the right size of response, as in we can over. We can kind of overdo it sometimes because we might be responding to something that happened when we were 12 and we're 52 and we kind of overdo our reaction to something. So a lot of what we do is just react right, and we all do that. We've all had whatever history that's led us to this point and we kind of have these sort of automated responses to things.

Fiona Kane: 9:50

The more that you just start to notice them, the more that you start to notice yourself if you're behaving like a 12-year-old or a 5-year-old or whatever it is. The more awareness you have over that, the more that you can bring the adult into the room and get the adult to make the choices. But also make sure you're doing some things that are fun so that child is enjoying life too, that inner child. And yes, sometimes the choice will be yes, I'm going to have the chocolate and I'm really going to have it just because I want to, and it will be fun and I'm going to enjoy it, and that's fine. But if you find that that's a choice you're making every day, all the time, you need an adult back in charge again there.

Fiona Kane: 10:25

So you need to look at what you're reacting to, and sometimes we realize we're just reacting to stuff. Um, yeah, we are having reactions that aren't related to what's going on. Sometimes that means you need to see a therapist, a counselor, read a book, whatever. Sometimes it just means these means that you just need to have an awareness around it. And once you have an awareness around it, you can sort of just start to see it happening. Oh, I know what's happening here. I've done that with myself over the years where I've started to. I think like some of my reactions and responses I still am quite sure I'm unaware of or I don't pay much attention to, and others I'm very aware of and I have a real high awareness of what's going on and I can sort of watch myself. And because I'm able to do that, over time I have actually been able to change some of those as well. So you can change them as you start to have an awareness around them.

Fiona Kane: 11:16

But essentially, in regards to nutrition, you have choice and what we choose to put in our mouth is our choice. So to me it comes down to making conscious choices. Now, if the can I have that, should I have that? Whatever. I'm not anti-people asking for nutrition advice. Of course I'm a nutritionist and sometimes you just don't know what you don't know. So you're not aware of the health level of something, or does that thing contain gluten? Or there's other reasons why you're asking that question, and of course it's appropriate to ask questions. But at the end of the day, just remember you are responsible for you and get the advice from wherever you get your advice from, or from all different places, whatever it is for you, and then make your choices and just understand that choices have consequences and own it. Just own it. Own your choices, own your consequences.

Fiona Kane: 12:12

But if you are in the driver's seat and if you understand when it's a child calming out and you hear those kinds of issues, you understand when maybe you're overreacting I think that's the word I was looking for before like overreacting. If you're overreacting or inappropriately reacting or, you know, if you're kind of just doing something just because nobody tells me what to do, and so you're actually sabotaging yourself because you feel like somehow you're fighting back against some invisible force that maybe was in your past but no longer present. So just notice why you do what you do in regards to food, notice the language you use, notice how you might respond to different language of other people and even just things of different styles of how people eat. I'm often talking to my clients around if they have a partner, or it might be a mother-in-law or it might be a mother or whoever it is. Different cultures have different ways of being with food and sharing food, and there's a lot of cultures where they get really offended when you don't eat what they put in front of you or you don't eat all of what they put in front of you. So sometimes you also need to just work out ways of discussing those issues with the people around you so that you can acknowledge their kindness and acknowledge that you might want to try the things sometimes or do the things sometimes, but you are also allowed to choose, so these things can be tricky.

Fiona Kane: 13:35

Now, in regards to Easter, it's the same advice really I give around, whether it's Easter or Christmas or whatever it is, but essentially I would just say make choices about what you want to eat, the things that make you happy, and eat some of those things, but in between that, look after yourself like you always do, so don't get caught up on. I shouldn't eat chocolate or hot cross buns or whatever it is around Easter that really makes it special for you. Just make really conscious choices. So and it depends on your level of health and how much you know some people can't do too much before they end up with problems, whether they've got sort of diabetes or they're struggling with their weight or they're struggling with other health issues. So some people maybe need to be a little bit more restricted, whereas other people can relax for a couple of days and then sort of just get back onto it after the weekend.

Fiona Kane: 14:30

It's up to you, depending on what's going on with your health, but I would just suggest that you don't sort of have, you know, six Easter bunnies and 10 hot cross buns and drink a lot of alcohol and laze around the house and do nothing probably not a good way to spend the weekend and you're really going to regret it after the long weekend. So I would just say make choices. So say I want to have hot cross buns and this is how many I'm going to buy. This is how many I'm going to eat. Maybe space it out over the weekend, eat them, enjoy them. I hate how it corresponds, so that's not a problem for me. I'm never going to eat those raisins and stuff in bread. That's revolting. Anyway, my family all love them and so I know people love them. And so just plan it the same with Easter eggs.

Fiona Kane: 15:17

I don't really like Easter eggs because I think that they often use the worst quality chocolate and they're really awful. So I actually would prefer just a chocolate block of chocolate as opposed to an Easter egg most of the time. But again, choose something, ask for the thing that you like, get the thing that you like, have it, enjoy it and really just really enjoy it and really take pleasure in whatever it is. But then just move on. But don't you know what people do that you know we've all been guilty of this. What we do is we go to the sales and we kind of buy all the Easter eggs and the Easter buns and all that kind of stuff. And I know people have been talking to me about this for weeks is that people have already been eating hot cross buns for weeks and weeks and they've started eating all the Easter eggs that they bought for the family. So now they've got to go back and buy the Easter eggs for the family.

Fiona Kane: 16:07

Just be aware that that can really sabotage your health if you're doing things that way. So I would recommend you have one shopping trip where you go and get the things that you like and that you want and you get rid of all the gift things as fast as possible and you really really enjoy yourself over Easter and eat the things that make you happy, really, really enjoy it, but also eat things that help you feel well and balanced. You know your protein, your veggies and go for your walks or go to the gym still, or you know and just really enjoy that time with your friends and family and celebrate without feeling guilty. You should not have to feel guilty about whatever choices you make around your food. It's just about having a responsibility around it, making conscious choices and choosing sometimes to just eat for pleasure that's okay and to not hate on yourself for whatever choices you do or don't make. But yes, you can eat. That it's just totally up to you and it's totally up to how that's going to affect you, because we're all a little bit different with what affects us and, as I've talked about before as well, when I talk about food in regards to sort of, will this nourish me or how do I feel when I eat it?

Fiona Kane: 17:30

Sometimes, when you eat a food and you don't feel well, there's a really good indication not to eat that food. It could come out in spots or things like that. Sometimes it means that something else is going on. So sometimes there's something behind it. So it's good to investigate what that is, maybe before you just completely rule out a food. So sometimes the food gives you the indication that the food is not your friend. Sometimes the food gives you the indication that there's something else going on in your body where maybe you're not making certain digestive enzymes or there's just something else that's not going well. Your body's quite inflamed at the moment. There's something else going on, then that is the reason why you don't feel well eating the food. So just be aware of not kind of completely just stopping all foods because you didn't feel well after eating them once maybe, unless it's really clear and really obvious it was that food.

Fiona Kane: 18:21

At the same time, the amount of people I know who eat foods that make them really, really sick all of the time and they have this food and they know that they're going to be in pain for the next three days and I just I don't understand that. I understand making like. I make little choices like that, where it sort of affects me a little bit. But the actual people who are in incredible pain for three days after they eat, wow, you really want to enjoy the thing and if you're having it because you really, really want it and it really makes you happy, well then at least there's that. But sometimes these people are doing it because they feel bad about saying no to people.

Fiona Kane: 18:57

And, yeah, honestly, look, we're adults and we get to choose to a certain extent again, like I said, within our funds and our availability, whatever but we get to choose what we put in our mouth and what we eat and we get to choose what we don't. And we also get the consequences of it. If we keep the adult in the room most of the time, the adult is driving the car and just be aware of that child in us that that's reactive and either just wants to get attention because they're not there's not much fun going on in our life, or they're reacting to certain language or certain situations. You might find it always in certain situations. That's when that child comes up. Just have a, just notice that that's happening and once you have an awareness around it, okay. It always happens when I go shopping and I'm hungry. Not a good idea to go shopping when you're hungry, it's really not, because the junk food's just there everywhere for your opportunity always happens when I go to mother-in-law's house, to my sister's house, to whatever, whatever, whatever, it is all right.

Fiona Kane: 19:58

Main thing, though, is don't feel shame about whatever choices you do and don't make with your food. Uh, you are not a good or bad person because of what you did or didn't eat. Just have food eating, eating food affects our bodies and sometimes has good consequences, sometimes has negative consequences, that is all. It's not a moral thing or a good or bad thing. It simply is what works for you. But there's no shame and you shouldn't feel no shame for your choices. And if we make poor choices and if we learn that the choices that we're making aren't great for us, well, when you know better, you do better, as Maya Angelou teaches. So we just learn and we try and do better. Anyway, I hope that helps you just kind of understand a little bit of languaging around. You get to choose and you get to make choices, and you get to be the grown up and, as opposed to, can I, should I, that kind of and the sort of language that might bring up that child in you who wants to rebel against doing the so-called in inverted commas right thing.

Fiona Kane: 21:08

Anyway, I hope you have a lovely Easter. Just choose what you want to have. Enjoy it Overall. Look after yourself and don't feel guilt about whatever you did or didn't do, but also don't let Easter go on for the next six weeks with. You know you buy so many things in the sales that you know pretty much Easter goes for two months every year. Not a good idea. Not a good idea for your health. Anyway, hope you have a wonderful Easter and I will talk to you next time. Don't forget to like and subscribe. I've got on either side here. I've got one's a subscribe button and one's the next video that you can watch, so please just go on to the next video and don't forget to like, subscribe and share. I'm also on Rumble and YouTube for those who don't know, so if you want to watch this video and you can also do comments on Rumble and YouTube. Otherwise, I hope you have a wonderful Easter and I will talk to you all again soon. Thank you so much. Okay, bye.