The Wellness Connection with Fiona Kane

Episode 74 Protecting Your Energy: How to Handle Interactions with "Energy Vampires"

• Fiona Kane • Season 1 • Episode 74

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Have you ever felt completely drained after spending time with certain people? Uncover the strategies for protecting your energy in our latest episode.

I reveal how to recognise and manage interactions with "energy-sucking vampires." These individuals, often unknowingly, tap into your energy to recharge themselves, leaving you exhausted and emotionally depleted. We'll explore key strategies to identify these people in your life, manage your interactions, and maintain your emotional well-being. 

I also discuss trusting your intuition; and how women in particular, are frequently facing societal pressures, and being shamed into ignoring their inner voices and risking their own safety. 

Learn more about booking a nutrition consultation with Fiona: https://informedhealth.com.au/

Learn more about Fiona's speaking and media services: https://fionakane.com.au/

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Credit for the music used in this podcast:

The Beat of Nature

Music by Olexy from Pixabay



Fiona Kane:

Hello and welcome to the Wellness Connection Podcast. My name is Fiona Kane. Today I'm going to be talking to you a little bit about intuition and around protecting your energy. So I wanted to start by talking about a certain kind of person that can affect your energy and how to manage yourself around them. That can affect your energy and how to manage yourself around them.

Fiona Kane:

So when you talk about energy, when I talk about this, what I'm referring to is that way that somebody makes you feel so. When somebody walks in the room or when you spent some time with somebody and they walk away, it's how do you feel? Like? What's the energy you feel from that, that sort of vibe energy you get from them? Have they sucked you dry? Have they given you energy? Is it fairly neutral? How does it feel?

Fiona Kane:

So there's a sort of person that I would call an energy-sucking vampire, and that is a person where, after you've been with them, you feel exhausted. You feel like they've totally depleted you right Now. I'm not saying that they're a bad person. They may be a really good person, but they just do this terrible thing. They don't. In my experience, they're not really fully conscious that that's what they do. They've just always learned. The way that they top up their energy is by getting it from other people, so that's what they do. So I am not saying these people are evil or bad Some of them might be, but I'm not saying that as a generalization at all. There are just people who don't know how to top up their own energy and they use other people for that purpose, and they often do it. It's not kind of a conscious thing, but it's just how they operate.

Fiona Kane:

So not good, bad, indifferent, whatever just be aware that there's people who that's the way they work and you need to protect your energy around them. It's particularly difficult if this person is your mother or your child or your partner or somebody who's close to you. So these people, like I said, they don't really know how to manage their own energy and how to top up their own energy, so they rely on other people to do it, and one of the clear and easy ways to do that is to actually that's just sort of plug into you, because what they do is they literally plug into you and suck your energy dry. I know it sounds weird, but that's exactly what they do. If you've been around these people, you know that's how it feels and the way they get to plug into you, though, is they don't get to plug into you unless you allow them, and what we don't realize is that we allow them, so you don't have to let someone plug into your energy source and take your energy. So once you're aware that that's what these people are doing not necessarily good, bad, whatever, just it's what these people do, and not even consciously, I don't think then you know how to manage that right, and one of the really easy ways they can get access to your energy is by eliciting an emotional response from you one way or the other.

Fiona Kane:

So this is the person that says to you oh, you look like you've put on a bit of weight since I saw you last, or you've let yourself go, or you're aging a bit, or the house isn't looked after as well as it has been, or just some other kind of a snide comment, or you don't look after me very well, or I haven't seen you in ages. I'm feeling, you know, the kind of like victim thing, where they're somehow trying to make you feel guilty, or trying to make you feel bad, or trying whatever, but ultimately, what they're doing is they're eliciting an emotional response for you. So whatever that looks like and if it's a family situation, it'll be whatever it is. It's always been, because families all have their own little stories that they tell about each other and family kind of knows the buttons to push for you and that'll be different for different people. So it depends on what your family dynamics are. So it might be something that sort of has been going on forever since your childhood, and it's just some button that they push and they know how to elicit that emotional response right. About your career, about your looks, about your partner, about your parenting, about whatever it is right. The topic's irrelevant. What is relevant is that once they get an emotional response from you, they plug into you right.

Fiona Kane:

So with people like this, it's really really good to learn how to not have an emotional response to the things they're saying, which can be really tough, because these are often, like I said, people who are close to us. If it's not someone who's close to you, if it's like a work colleague or someone like that, it's easier. But in both cases you've got to understand it's the same thing that you're not to let them elicit emotional responses in you. So with these people, what you have to do is when they're doing this. You have to actually just be one of two things Either if you can choose not to be around this person, or choose not to be with them very often, that might be a good choice for you. I'm not trying to separate families or things like that. I think that in most cases, you can work things out and families can be together. So I'm not saying that at all.

Fiona Kane:

But in general, if this is someone that doesn't need to be in your life, then maybe spend less time with them or don't spend time with them, especially if it's kind of just an acquaintance or something like that. Who needs an acquaintance like that? We've got enough challenging people, often in our families or workplaces or whatever, without actually having friends or acquaintances as well who are like this. So if it's someone that you don't need to be around, maybe don't be around them or spend less time with them. But if it's someone that you choose to be around or you need to be around for whatever reason, then what you need to learn how to do is just be very and recognize it for what it is. So, instead of kind of being really activated about what they've just said about your parenting or your looks or whatever it is in your mind. You're saying, okay, this person, they're trying to get my energy. Now, this is how they're trying to do it. I'm not going to let that happen.

Fiona Kane:

So what you do is you say, matter of fact and on topic of whatever is the reason you're interacting with this person in the first place. So if it's a work colleague, it's a discussion about the work stuff, or you just say, okay, I've got to get on with my day, see you later. So it might just be moving on or it might just be doing the matter of fact stuff. Often, if it's family or someone like that and someone that you need to be talking to a good way, is even just a distraction thing where you might talk about oh, look at the weather today, or do you think it's going to rain, or maybe we need to bring the washing in, whatever, but just distracting the person. So sometimes it might be distracting or it's moving on the conversation, or it's moving on from the conversation and finishing the conversation, but just sort of politely and matter-of-factly just moving on with things.

Fiona Kane:

When you don't engage, they can't plug into you and take your energy and what you will find is, first they'll be very confused, but ultimately, with these people, when you stop giving them your energy, first they're confused and they might push a bit harder to try and get that. So just note that that can happen first. Eventually, though, these people will move on and find someone else to get it from if they can't get it from you, and unfortunately that's not your problem. Your issue is just protecting your own energy, so they won't keep trying to get your energy if you don't allow them to or they might, but not as often because they just know that it doesn't work with you. When people learn that their tactics don't work with you, they often move on, because if it's hard work, it's not worth it for them. They'll move on to somebody who will happily give them the energy.

Fiona Kane:

So, with people like that, have an awareness of don't spend time around them if and when you don't need to, if you don't want to, depending on who they are when you are with them. Understand that they will want to get that reaction from you, and they're trying to get some sort of emotional response from you, because that is where and how they plug into your energy. So be aware of that, also being aware these people are often people who need to tell these big stories of dramas and sort of stories about other people and kind of spend time with you creating these big dramas to talk about, about why they're a victim and why everyone's out to get them or whatever. They're often that kind of person as well and again, if you get caught up in all those stories with them and all those dramas with them, that can be really exhausting. So it's good not to buy into that. So it doesn't mean you can't be polite, you can't listen to what someone says, but again, there's ways that you can kind of wind those conversations up fairly quickly be polite, hear the person oh that's no good, and you know and then move on to the next thing did you hear about the news today? Or whatever it is? But just some way of um of closing that conversation. Again they will stop trying to have conversations with you when they know that you're not going to have those or find someone else who's willing to tell stories about people who play those games or play the victim games and stuff. So the less you interact with that way and the less that you buy into the stuff that they're doing, the more they'll be attracted to go and do that with other people and they won't be doing it with you so much. But initially they might push back and they might make things a bit harder and give you a bit of a harder time. But eventually they'll move on.

Fiona Kane:

And when I talk about eliciting emotional responses, it could be shame, like I said, it could be they really try and shame you. Oh well, then you're not a very good daughter, or you're not a very good employee, or you're not a very good, whatever it is, but they try and shame you. When you understand that that's their currency, that's how they get energy. You don't take it as personally or try not to take it personally at all. Even though sometimes things are about you, they're not really about you at all and when you can identify that sometimes things you might be the subject but you're not really, it's just a person's way of accessing your energy and it's got nothing to do with you personally. Sometimes, when you understand that you can cope with it a lot better because you can kind of go in your mind oh, this isn't about me, and if I abide to this, if I react to this, I'm going to be exhausted for the rest of the day and this person does not deserve my energy. And when you can start to sort of have that conversation with yourself sort of just quietly in your mind that's what you're saying to yourself in these situations you will find you'll start to manage these situations better. I'll be back in a moment.

Fiona Kane:

I'm back, and so what I was talking about there is this energy sucking vampires and how to manage them. Like I said, they're not necessarily good, bad, whatever they might be, might not be, I don't know, but they certainly don't know how to get their own energy and choose to basically get it from other people. And if you engage, that's how they get it from you. So there's certainly ways that you can be polite, you can have a relationship with these people, but you can also just not buy into the stories, not buy into the dramas, and certainly don't let them activate you emotionally. It's not worth it. You sort of think about it and think, okay, yep, no, I know what this is about. This is nothing to do with me, I am not going to get involved, and you just choose polite ways to move things along. So, in regards to that sort of person, that's how I would manage that situation.

Fiona Kane:

Now there's something else I wanted to talk about as well today, and it's about intuition and what I'm seeing a lot of. And just to kind of actually clarify look at, you know, definition of intuition it's the ability to understand something instinctively, without the need for conscious reasoning. It doesn't mean conscious reasoning is not there, because often these things become intuition because you learn them over time and you learn them over time because of conscious reasoning. So it's something that you've learned in the past and something that you know and that kind of gets embedded in your intuition. And then, years later, when a situation comes up, your intuition tells you something's not safe or not right. And years later, when a situation comes up, your intuition tells you something's not safe or not right. So don't ever think that intuition is just an emotional thing.

Fiona Kane:

What I find now is that we're there's a lot of gaslighting going on in regards to intuition, where people are telling you that what you see and what you hear is not real and not true, and don't believe your lying eyes and don't believe your intuition. And it comes up in a lot of different situations. So it comes up around food, as I've talked about before, where I talk about people being connected to their body and knowing they've eaten enough, they've had enough, and being told, oh no, you should eat more because you haven't eaten enough, or someone's starving in China or whatever it is. So sometimes people tell you to stop listening to your body and stop listening to your intuition and to ignore that. People do it in other ways as well, kind of in social ways and things.

Fiona Kane:

And women weren't believed for a long, long time. People didn't believe women about stuff and we weren't taken seriously. And women spoke up and they were put in mental institutions and things like that right, which is awful. And so we got to a point where we sort of said, okay, listen to women, and women actually have a really good intuition and you know, you don't have to believe all women think, no, you don't believe all anybody, but yes, women can have a say and you listen to women just as just as you would listen to men. Understand that women actually do have a pretty good intuition and I think it's because we're generally the ones who become mothers and mothers have to have a really good intuition about who's around my baby, what's going going on here. So women do often have, usually have, a really good intuition, and what I'm finding now is and for a long time, you know, there was training, there's even programs and things you can do in regards to self-defense that are about your intuition, that are saying listen to your intuition, your intuition's always right, because it usually is right.

Fiona Kane:

What I'm finding now and I don't want to get too much into sort of too much politics or anything like that, so I'm not really going to go fully there but is there's some ideologies and some politics and some games that people are playing in the world at the moment that are asking you not to listen to intuition, that are asking you to we kind of think oh, that doesn't seem right, oh, yes, but it is right because it's all about compassion and inclusion and we're wonderful people. No, it's not always true. Just because people word things in that language, it does not mean it's true. So I would just advise you to keep listening to your intuition. Women have a good sense of intuition. I'm not saying men don't have it as well. Of course. All human beings have a different type of intuition. So absolutely. But in particular at the moment, I find well, actually all people, but women in particular, are being really kind of baited at the moment where we're being told that our intuition, our feeling for what's safe and for what's right and for what's right for children and for what's right for us and for what's right for our safety, we're being told that that's not true and listening to our intuition makes us some bigots or mean people or horrible people, that kind of thing.

Fiona Kane:

I'm not going to go into a lot of detail here. I probably will be starting another podcast soon, just a different name, different podcast where I can go into this stuff in more detail, and that will be on probably all the same platforms, but particularly on Rumble, where it's a free speech platform, where I could probably say more. I just would just have a reminder to women and people in general that we have intuition for a reason and, yes, intuition it might. So if you think about sort of how we came from, you know once upon a time we lived in a tribe and when you lived in a tribe, if someone different to you came to your tribe, they would make you nervous. Your intuition would tell you to be concerned because that person is probably there to take over your tribe, to kill you, whatever. That's how it was right.

Fiona Kane:

So some levels of not feeling safe around someone who's different. Some of that actually comes from that sort of inbuilt thing of when it was important for saving your life. Now, of course, we live in a much more integrated world now, where we do live with all different kinds of people and it's multicultural and multi all different things, right. So, yes, there's a lot more different people living together now and now society is a lot more blended. With all of that, however, there is still often that people do have a fear of something that's different to them and that doesn't make someone a bad person for having that as their first instinct.

Fiona Kane:

Having that as a first instinct just comes from our background, from thousands of years of being invaded, right where we have that intuition, right. So having that as an automatic sort of response but then having a moment to sort of think about things and sort of clarify is okay, it's fine. It doesn't make someone an evil person. Being outright bigoted and mean towards people because of their race, religion, whatever, is a whole other story. But having just a little bit of a oh, I'm not sure about this other person because I'm not familiar is fine. You're not familiar, you're not familiar.

Fiona Kane:

And then you can assess things on a case-by-case basis about what's safe for you and what's not. And, of course, it can be lots of people who are just like you can be very unsafe as well. So it's not about other at all. But it's just that we have intuition for a reason. It comes for a reason and sometimes you need to maybe reassess it. But, generally speaking, telling people just outright to override their intuition and how they feel or if they feel safe about things is not safe.

Fiona Kane:

And if there's people, anyone trying to convince you including those people I was talking about before, those energy sucking vampires who are constantly trying to do this, people trying to tell you to not listen to your intuition, to not feel safe, to do things that make you feel unsafe or make you feel like you're doing what's sort of morally wrong for you or just what feels wrong for you, pay attention to that and my encouragement would be to stick up for what feels right for you. If you have to have some difficult conversations or some clarifying conversations, look, occasionally we realize that you know we had a fear about something that was unfounded, that kind of thing. So it's okay. Sometimes we grow and learn and we find out that sometimes our fears might be attached to something that felt very real for us but isn't very real. So I'm not saying there's never a situation where these things can't be challenged or can't be discussed, but in general we have our intuition for a reason, and anyone who's outright trying to tell you not to listen to your intuition, I would be very suspicious of their motives.

Fiona Kane:

Intuition is there for a reason. It's very protective and there's a lot of situations that these people who teach about self-defense and stuff like that, there's so many situations where women have, you know, they have the what's his name? That serial killer guy, ted Bundy, right, people like that. He used to kind of put his arm in a sling and pretend he was sort of disabled and needed help on loading his groceries into his car or something, and women would feel sorry for him and come over and help him. Next thing, you know, they're in the car, right, and they're goners.

Fiona Kane:

That's a really common thing that men do to get women to override their intuition. So the intuition is oh, you know, I feel really nervous around this person. Yet they kind of feel shamed because they think, oh, I really should help this person because they've got an injury, they're on crutches, they've got, you know the arms in a sling, or they're looking for their puppy, whatever it is, and we override our intuition to help them and then suffer for that right. So it's a really common thing that women do, that women are vulnerable to, and we've last, you know, the last few years it's been, there's been active, active uh programs to to teach women to know listen to your intuition and, um, if it means you might have to come across as rude, then let it. Then then that's how it is, but the different that might save your life. So, coming across as rude because you're listening to intuition and then maybe you can reassess things. Whatever down the track, it's fine.

Fiona Kane:

But all I would say is keep listening to intuition, and anyone who's trying to convince you not to listen to that, I'd be very suspicious of their motives and really have a think about these situations where you're being asked to not listen to your intuition, and sometimes there might be validity in the situations, but often it's people trying to override your intuition and it's not for good reasons. So, anyway, I will leave it there. So please like, subscribe and share, and you can comment if you're on Rumble or YouTube. Hope you have a great week. Talk to you later. Thanks, bye.

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