The Wellness Connection with Fiona Kane

What Parents Should Know About Netflix's Adolescence | Ep. 109

• Fiona Kane • Season 1 • Episode 109

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What Parents Should Know About Netflix's Adolescence - This powerful drama series opens up urgent conversations about the dangers facing kids online today. In this episode, I break down what every parent needs to understand about how social media, smartphones, influencers like Andrew Tate, and online predators are reshaping childhood in troubling ways.

We’ll explore:
• How kids are exposed to explicit content before age 10
• The rise of 24/7 cyberbullying
• The tactics predators use to manipulate and extort children
• Why many boys feel confused about masculinity
• How social media promotes toxic values
• Why teens are struggling with purpose and identity
• The importance of having honest conversations before kids look elsewhere for answers

🎧 If you’re a parent navigating the digital age, this episode is for you.

Learn more about booking a nutrition consultation with Fiona: https://informedhealth.com.au/

Learn more about Fiona's speaking and media services: https://fionakane.com.au/

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The Beat of Nature

Music by Olexy from Pixabay



Fiona Kane:

Hello and welcome to the Wellness Connection Podcast with Fiona Kane. Today I'm actually going to be talking about well, I'm referring to a TV series called Adolescence, but I'm actually going to be talking about children and what they're being exposed to, what's affecting them and what I think is causing a lot of the social problems in our society in regards to young people and children lot of the social problems in our society in regards to young people and children. Adolescence particularly focuses it's a series on Netflix and it focuses on a young boy who's 13 who is charged with murdering a young girl who's a similar age, like a friend from school or an acquaintance from school. But this is kind of bigger than that. But the interesting thing about this tv show is it has created a discussion, which I think is really, really important. The acting is phenomenal as well. It's worth watching it just to see those actors, and I do think it has created a really good discussion. So I want to discuss a little bit from that, but then just go even a little bit further now. Some of this, you, some of this health and society and culture, and even a bit of politics they all kind of cross over somewhat, so this probably will be stretching a little bit into some of those categories as well, because it's sort of all part of it, but I think that if we're not talking about what's going on for the kids today, it's important to talk about those things, and that does. Unfortunately, that means crossing over into lots of different categories of discussion. However, I think it's worthwhile, and you will get as I start talking about this also, I do have some guests booked to talk about some of these topics as well, so it won't just be me going on about it.

Fiona Kane:

Anyway, so, referring back to Adolescence, like I said, it's a four-part series on Netflix and, yes, it's revolving around this child doing this horrific knife crime, and the focus of the series is not so much if he did it because we know he did it right from the first episode it is more why did he do it, what happened? And so I just wanted to talk to some of the things that I think are behind this and underneath this and what they uncovered. Obviously, spoiler alert if you haven't seen it yet, you probably want to see it now at this point, just saying because I am going to be talking a bit about what goes on in the series. So what ultimately happens is they uncover what's going on for some of the boys at this particular school, and these boys are being exposed to some online influencers who are talking to them about how to deal with girls and how to get girls this sort of stuff and essentially, these online influencers pretty much tell the kids that you know you've got no hope of getting a girl. They tell them there's an 80-20 rule 80% of girls want 20% of boys, so you've got no chance and so the only way you can really get a girl is to trick her into being your girlfriend or wanting to be with you. So it's pretty messed up, but this is the kind of stuff that some of these online chat groups and online influencers teach. One of those online influencers that they talk about is Andrew Tate, and he's mentioned a few times in this series and he's one of the people who teaches some of this stuff. Sometimes, when you hear Andrew Tate talk, he does sometimes diagnose some of the issues going on with the world quite well, but his answer to them is not, in my opinion, not healthy. I get really annoyed by the term toxic masculinity, but he actually, if you want to see what that looks like, he's an example of when it is toxic, in my opinion, in his attitude towards women. So he's one of the people that they're going to and learning from.

Fiona Kane:

Now this group of boys is actually. There's a label for them now as well. They're called incels, and incels is involuntary celibate. So essentially, back in my day, they would have been the kids that would have been thought of as being losers or no hopers, or the ones who were considered unattractive and unable to get a girl, that kind of thing. So this is the current name for this group of people, but it's sort of because there's a whole online community now, there's a whole online community around this and because there's so much online porn and that kind of thing these days, there's a lot of these young men who they see a lot of this porn. Well, young men and young women. Actually. That's one of the issues here as well.

Fiona Kane:

In my experience and my belief is that, because these young people are seeing a whole lot of porn, apparently before the age of 10, most of them have seen stuff that would make a toes curl. For most of us, even though we might have seen some things when we were younger, it was nothing like what these kids are seeing things. When we were younger it was nothing like what these kids are seeing and that you know. I think that that for for boys, I think it messes up their idea of what sex is and what relationships are and and, um and what, what a sexual relationship is supposed to be and what girls want, need, whatever. Uh, it also gives them a completely unrealistic idea of what that involves. But also from the other side of things, I think for girls, it frightens them and I don't blame them for it being frightening for them. And I think actually it frightens boys and girls because it's also they see it at such a young age, before they're even ready to even think about that stuff, and they see stuff that's so hardcore that they just get really, really messed up ideas about that and I saw that with one of the.

Fiona Kane:

You know, if you haven't already figured this out, you might not want to be listening to this in front of your children. It's up to you. You might want to listen to it first, but they figured it out in sorry. I heard it talked about with a young singer. I can't think of her name now, but there's a young singer who's about 17 or so, a female singer who actually said that she thought that it was normal during sex to be strangled. Basically, she thought that was a normal thing and she was allowing that because she thought that that's what men, what boys wanted, what men wanted, whatever.

Fiona Kane:

And so it shows you the level of stuff that these kids are being exposed to and what they think of as normal. So it's no wonder that they're so frightened off by it all. I don't blame them, and for this reason, boys and girls are often quite frightened of each other, actually, and it's sort of become a bit of an us and them with the boys and girls. So, anyway, they're being exposed to stuff that's really dodgy, like that. They've got these chat groups that tell them they've got no hope, and the only way they get hope is by, you know, just telling the woman how it is, or or getting them when they're down and and so in there in this uh show. Ultimately it was a child. Um, some photos have been passed around of the girl at school, uh, semi-naked, and so she was picked on a lot, and so he went and asked her out then because he thought, well, I'll get her while she's down when nobody wants her. So that's, this is messed up idea of, and that is the sort of thing I know that they are talking about and teaching apparently in some of these groups, these young men's groups. That's just really really not healthy. So of course that is really bad and that's really unhealthy.

Fiona Kane:

But I'm going to just talk about some of the other things that I think are going on and why I think we shouldn't just be targeting the incels or the Andrew Taits of the world. That's part of the issue and I understand that and I totally behind looking at that. But it's also looking at why are boys attracted to Andrew Tate in the first place? What's going on? Because the fix is like, oh, we've just got to teach men to be more feminine and more kind and blah, blah, blah and not like Andrew Tate, and I think actually it's some of that stuff that's made them like Andrew Tate. So I'll explain a little bit more as I go along so you'll understand what I'm talking about. So let me just where was I up to? Oh yeah, like the other issue too with kids today is the bullying aspect, because they all carry smartphones at such a young age.

Fiona Kane:

Jonathan Haidt has written a great book on this, so it is worth following up. His book. Uh, I think it's called the anxious generation and um, height is like h-a-i-d-t. Something along those lines. Uh, you'll find it pretty easily if you go looking for it. He's done some great work around this.

Fiona Kane:

But these kids are using devices and these they're they. You know, once upon a time you get bullied at school, but you got a break when you got home. But now that's 24, 7, right, because they're all in these chat rooms and things, uh and um, and bullying each other constantly. And there's a whole thing now where kids are being targeted and they're being targeted besides the fact that they've always been targeted and there's always been predators, there's predators who pretend that they are like, for example okay, so a young boy will get a text from someone he thinks, or message or some sort of message, any message from someone who they think is a young girl. The young girl will send him nudes and of herself, well, of what he thinks is a young girl and it's her. But it's not. It's some random pictures. That's not this person, because the person would usually be a man, and what they do is they say oh, I've sent you mine, now you send me yours, so then the boy will take photos of himself, send that to what he thinks is the girl, and then what happens is he is extorted over these photos. So they ask for money or they ask for sex, and many boys around the world are actually ending their lives over this.

Fiona Kane:

This is a huge issue. So there's a lot of issues going on with kids having phones and having basically the world having access to them and them having access to the world. So I think all of these issues play into this kind of dynamic for young people, for young boys and girls. So it's not as simple as just saying you know, we need to teach boys to be kind. I think there's more going on here. We do consider that children are safe in their bedrooms and, of course, based on all the things I just told you, that's a big question mark in this film, just showing that it's not enough now for parents to say, oh, I don't understand all of this electronic stuff and all this online stuff. If your kids are doing it, you need to understand it, unfortunately, but it's just how it is.

Fiona Kane:

So what I think is behind this as well is that I think there is a hateful brand of feminism that's been going around and getting, I think, more extreme in the last few years, and it really is where we do label all masculinity as toxic. You know, and we see we divide. You know a lot of what well, we divide. You know a lot of what well, not me, but a lot of. What this group of feminists uh do is, uh, they divide men into two categories. You're either a bully or you're a soy boy, and no one wants to be a bully. But who wants to be a soy boy, right, but that's the two categories. So either really super soft or um, or a bully. There's just no in between, and that's just such a ridiculous idea of what masculinity is. There's masculinity is so much more than that which I will go into, uh, so there's that sort of attitude.

Fiona Kane:

There's also, what is happening is, um, is, and this is a lot, this is where it gets, I suppose, somewhat political um, but there's a there's kind of a far left ideology that has sort of gained a lot, a lot of momentum and it's controlling a lot of our education systems and a lot of our political systems, and this is the really hateful brand of feminism. And this hateful brand of feminism considers that marriage is toxic and patriarchal Actually, not just marriage, but it considers that everything pretty much we have going on in the Western world today is all colonialism and patriarchy and white white supremacy and hateful and whatever. They want to tear the whole thing down because it's all bad and destroy the whole lot because it's all terrible and bad. When you could just look at the situation and go there have been some terrible and bad things that have happened in our societies, but overall, why is the rest of the world trying to come to Australia and America and England? They're trying to come to these places because they are the better. They're better than the other places. Otherwise, why are they trying to come? They're trying to come to societies that are freer, where they've got more opportunities and all of that kind of thing, and that's just the reality of it.

Fiona Kane:

Right, and have our societies got things wrong? Yes, is there some issues around capitalism? Yes, is there some challenges around our societies? Absolutely. Have we done some bad things in the past? Yes, yes, all of that true, but what these people want to do is they want to throw the baby out with the bath water. So they want to throw out all the good with the bad and instead of saying well, you know what? We've come a long way and we've figured out that it's really not nice or not helpful to be bigots towards other races or other sexualities or whatever, and it's good to treat women and men equally. They're not equal as in. They're not equal in their abilities. We're just different, right, but just equal, as in. All human beings are equal, right. So equal human beings, but just different. Different but equal. And so we figured a lot of that stuff out. But now we've figured a lot of that stuff out, apparently they want to throw it all out. It's all bad, it's all wrong.

Fiona Kane:

And so, if you think about in the Western world, what's happening now is young men are being told if you're white, you are bad. If you are masculine, you are bad If you are what they call cis, which is like your sex matches your body. So if you're a boy and you really are a boy, that's called I don't go with the language, but they call it cis. And if you're heterosexual, and if you are, so they call it they'll call it like white, cis, heteronormative, right, and that's meant as an insult. And essentially that means you're just a white boy who's attracted to women and who's comfortable in their own body, or who just recognizes that they are a boy, right, that's it, that's all it means. And you happen to be white, right, but all of that is a negative thing.

Fiona Kane:

Now, and and apparently the whole world is we're all being pushed down by the patriarchy, and all these boys have been part of it. And these boys, they're actually in classrooms now. I've heard this happening in Australia. In the US, boys are being asked to get up and apologize to the rest of the class for their whiteness, their heterosexuality, their boyness, their masculinity, their patriarchy, whatever right, boys haven't been involved in any of this, and so they're actually, rather than bringing them up to be proud of who they are which they should be proud of, who they are the same as anyone else should be proud, not over or more than anyone else, but they should be allowed to be proud of who they are we're bringing them up to be shameful and being told that they're wrong and bad in every way and they're evil and their evil masculinity is going to destroy the world. So, whatever they do, they've got to push that down. I can see why they're attracted to people like Andrew Tate, because Andrew Tate says you know you're being, you know, lied to and you know you should stand up for yourself. I get why they're attracted to that. I don't like his brand of this, but I understand why boys want to go there. So, instead of like hating on the boys who are attracted to Andrew Tate, how about understand why? Why are they being drawn to him? What messages are they being told that leads them to that place?

Fiona Kane:

Now I was listening to an interview with Jordan Peterson and Megyn Kelly the other day on Megyn Kelly's show, the Megyn Kelly Show and if you're listening to this at a later date it was in March 2025, you can go looking for it. So all the usual places and he was actually talking about this and he was saying I'm just looking for my notes, but he was saying that Andrew Tate, he teaches them. Well, he's actually like a rich playboy right in show-off and he's quite misogynistic in his attitude towards women and misogynistic in the real as in. Quite hateful, I think the way he treats women as opposed to the women that try and call every man misogynistic, which is, again, they overuse words and they become meaningless. But I think his attitude towards women is pretty nasty and the way Jordan described it.

Fiona Kane:

He said like men who have nothing.

Fiona Kane:

Well, why don't they want something?

Fiona Kane:

And if Andrew Tate can offer them something, you can see why they're attracted.

Fiona Kane:

Described it, he said like men who have nothing.

Fiona Kane:

Well, why don't they want something? And if Andrew Tate can offer them something, you can see why they're attracted to it. Because there's a lot of men who feel like they have nothing now. And they feel like they have nothing because one all the stuff I just told you, that they are told about the world but they don't have any vision, or they don't have any vision of what masculinity is. They don't have role models and they are told that getting married is a terrible patriarchal thing that just destroys women, which is not true. There can be marriages that are really awful, but that's not given for all marriages. It's not like all marriage is a horrible patriarchal institution. No, marriages can be bad and they can be good, full stop right Now. Historically, there might have been issues with marriage in some places. Well, there still is in some places in the world, but in the Western world that's not the case. Marriages can be a wonderful thing, and I personally believe they are a wonderful thing, and if more people can actually be married and find a partner and settle down and do something constructive with their lives, they'll be a lot happier and they'll do a lot better. Because we do know when we look at studies that people, when you have someone has your back, it makes a big difference in your life. Right, it doesn't mean people can't make other choices, but just if the majority of people were able to do this, I think people would be a lot happier personally, but anyway. So what he's he talks about is the fact that's happened now is this kind of again, this left politics, this extreme left politics, has become quite pathologically feminine and toxically feminine, in a way that we're devouring the young men. And it's weird because a lot of these people don't actually believe that there really is evil and bad in the world. They think evil and bad is like someone like Jordan Peterson and then people who actually are raping and killing women and stuff. They let them out of prison and say that they're victims and so don't pick on them because they're really nice people. So they've got a real messed up idea about what is bad and what's not bad and this is sort of a really toxic form of femininity. That is actually like a suicidal empathy, where we have so much empathy for people that we're actually harming ourselves by being so empathetic towards people that don't deserve empathy. So there's this weird dynamic in the world at the moment where girls are being given this message that marriage is a bad thing, that they don't want part of Having children and having babies is terrible because it takes you away from your fun loving life and, of course, they're not having children or they're not having children until later and then they're having trouble having children. Many are not able to and you know there are some people that don't end up having children and I was one of those people and part of it was choice and part of it was not, because even if I chose to, I don't know that it was probably wasn't likely that it was going to happen. So maybe I made the choice, made the call, because I didn't think it was going to happen anyway. But you know, you think that you're going to be happy without children. But yeah, I'm not saying I'm unhappy, but I think, put it this way, I think most women would regret not having children and they do give you some form of meaning. So if you don't have children, you really want to find some sort of meaning in your life, and that's what a lot of young people are missing out on Now. What he was explaining, too, is what Jordan Peterson was explaining. You know, what they're told these days is and that's the Andrew Tate thing is this it's like all about don't worry about responsibility and sort of be hedonistic and just do your own thing, and this actually creates really weak men, and really weak men are the ones that are dangerous. Really weak men are the ones who use that kind of that performative masculinity not real masculinity, but the performative kind that look at me and I'm tough, and there are other kind of guys that push around women and that kind of thing. So he was sort of saying that you know, we find meaning in that voluntary adoption of responsibility. So instead of being told that you know you're not going to get married and have children and do any of those things and you're not going to be anybody and so boys have no purpose, generally speaking, historically, you kind of pair up by the time you were 25, you would be married and have a job and you'd have responsibilities, and that's actually a really good thing for most people, as long as it's the right marriage, right, but that's a good thing, because you do get meaning from having purpose, from having a responsibility. So it's actually kind of it's a weird thing that we don't understand. But being free and easy and being able to do whatever you like is fun, but then it's not fulfilling and ultimately we don't feel good about ourselves if that's what our lives look like forever. So it's actually kind of you know, sacrificial responsibility is what actually gives meaning to your life and that's what sort of marriage and having children or just doing something. It might not be having children, you know, in my case it's like it's caring for parents, whatever it looks like, but caring for other people. That sacrificial responsibility is actually really good for you in whatever form, that you know that it might show up for you in your life or that you're able to do it. So not shaming people who can't have children I'm one of them but if you can, I think most people benefit. Most people seem to benefit from it. It's a good thing. It's a good thing for them. The other thing is, too, is that with these young people, because they're being told that marriage is an oppressive, patriarchal institution, they're not getting married, they're not having children, so they're not doing things that have any meaning. So they're still sort of playing games in the basement of their mum's house when they're in their 30s. And that's when they really do become these incels and they sort of more likelihood that they're not ever going to get married and they're kind of addicted to this porn sort of stuff and they don't know how to deal with real people. And so you've got this issue on both sides, where the women aren't finding the right men, because they do. Most women do want men who are, you know, powerful, and I don't mean powerful in a misogynistic, harmful way, but powerful in, you know, someone who's actually going to take control. I don't mean tell you what to do to take control, I mean someone who's got themselves sorted. I mean someone who's actually going to take control. I don't mean tell you what to do to take control. I mean someone who's got themselves sorted. I mean someone who's grounded and someone who takes responsibility and wants to be part of something and grow something. That's what I mean. But most women do want that, do want a good man who can be protective when need be, and so that's men's traditional role and that's not a bad thing. And so because we're being told these sort of silly ideas about, uh, about what women, what makes men and women happy? I think we're missing out a lot because, uh, you know that it's becoming an us against them thing with men and women, and it seems to be again. It's like oh well, if you know, for women to have rights, men can't have them, or for men to have rights that taken from women, and why can't we work together? And again, the equality thing I was talking about before of course we're equal, but we are different as well, which is great. So there are qualities that I have that my husband doesn't. There's qualities that he has that I don't, and so we're not. We're not equal in strength, we're just not. Some women would be, and that's fine as well. There's all different variations, but you know, we're not equal in strength. But I, you know, I'm better at some other things than what he is. I'm better at some of this stuff than what he is, and he's a whole lot better at being practical and doing practical things and building things and making things and fixing things than I will ever be. Now, that's not exactly the same, like I said, for every male and female, but yeah, so we're equal, but different. We don't have to be equal, equal exactly the same. We're equal, but different. We've got different strengths and that's fantastic and that's actually what makes it work, because we complement each other, and so I think there's more going on for these kids. And then, if you add on top of that things like I talked about before, responsibilities that kids shouldn't have, like being told that there's a climate emergency and the world's about to end and adults don't care and so they're not going to have a future, if you tell kids this kind of stuff and you burden them with all of this adult responsibility, you give them all these confusing ideas about what sex and relationships are and what masculinity is, and then wonder why they're confused and they can't figure it out and why they act out so um. So these are sort of like some of the things I don't want to go on, because they'll go on forever. And, like I said, I am having discussions with some other people about this topic to make it a bit more interesting, to get other perspectives. But I just want you to sort of think about the fact that there are when people tell you oh, it's just about the android hates of the world, it's not the androctates of the world, although that is something we do need to have a concern about. But the concern should be well, why are the boys attracted to androctates of the world? What's going on? What's going on with girls and what's going on with boys? What are they being exposed to and um, and where do they need our support and where do they need our help and what can we do to to change this and to change the narrative and to not let this and I'm not saying left is all wrong or right is all right or any of that sort of stuff, but there's just this weird far left thing. That's that's going on um, there's wokeism, really, that's um, that's poisoned a lot in our world today. In my opinion, and I think that's why the kids are all so confused, and don't even get me started on on telling them that they could be any gender they like or actively asking children in classrooms whether or not they think they're in the right body, introducing that kind of confusion for children. There's no purpose for that except to damage children. Yep, help children who are gender confused or have those issues if and when they need it, and it would be in the very minority if you didn't introduce them to it. But what's happening now is we're actively introducing children to all this confusing stuff so that we can deliberately confuse them and so that we can take advantage of them Not me or not you personally, but there are people who are taking advantage of children and using this as a way to do that. I've talked about some of this in other episodes. You can listen to that there. But essentially we are teaching children things that aren't true. We are confusing them, unneedingly confusing them. They are exposed to the internet and the world at a very young age and there's only so much you can do to control that, but you can at least control some of it, and there are conversations that need to be happening in families so we understand what children are exposed to and we have conversations with them about these ideologies and about the things they're exposed to online before they start getting advice from people like Andrew Tate. Anyway, that's my little rant for today, sorry, but I just think it's an important topic and I will, like I said, be talking to other people on this topic of how we can help the kids, because the main thing is like I don't mean to depress people, but you need to understand. Sometimes you need a diagnosis, you need a bit bit of that's my little exploration of some of the things that are going on that I think are leading to these issues can't fix it if we can't acknowledge what's happening. And to acknowledge what's happening, sometimes we might need to say things that might come off as being a bit offensive or scary or whatever, but my intention is to I hope, like I want these issues resolved and we have to talk about them if we're going to do that, and, as I've said before, this podcast is about having real conversations about things that matter. So please like, subscribe, share, comment, give feedback, rate, review all those things. I really appreciate your time and I really appreciate your support. Thank you and I'll see you all next week. Thanks, bye.

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