Episode 102 Rewriting Your Narrative for Positive Change

This episode explores the hidden barriers to achieving goals, focusing on the self-defeating beliefs and narratives that shape our behaviours. Listeners are encouraged to cultivate curiosity about their inner dialogues, replace limiting beliefs with empowering ones, and adopt consistent habits to build self-trust. 

In this episode I discuss:

• Understanding the importance of beliefs in goal achievement 
• The answers to "What am I believing?" and its implications 
• Exploring how behaviors reinforce belief systems 
• Shifting negative narratives 
• The necessity of consistent action to support new beliefs 
• The impact of positive habits on opening ourselves up to opportunities 

Learn more about booking a nutrition consultation with Fiona: https://informedhealth.com.au/

Learn more about Fiona's speaking and media services: https://fionakane.com.au/

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Credit for the music used in this podcast:

The Beat of Nature

Music by Olexy from Pixabay

Chapters

• 0:00 Exploring Self-Sabotage
• 15:20 Podcast Promotion and Engagement

Transcript

Fiona Kane: 0:31

Hello and welcome to the Wellness Connection Podcast. I'm your host, Fiona Kane. Last week I started talking to you about. I was talking about habits and the things that we can do to cement those habits, to ensure that they become sort of unconscious competency, as opposed to something that's really challenging in the beginning, and I thought, following on from that, I've talked to you a lot about language and I want to just talk to you again just about there's a lot of things that can get in the way of us achieving our goals. So there's lots of thought processes and things that we can do to sabotage ourselves, essentially. So I just wanted to talk to you a little bit about that and some of the questions that you can ask yourself in regards to why you're not achieving your goals and the feelings that you have around it. So the first thing I'd like to sort of say is you know, be curious about whatever feelings you have, whatever feelings you have about why you're not achieving your goals. So, if you're kind of, if you say, oh, I haven't achieved whatever it is and it's because blah, blah, blah, all the stuff that you say, so be curious about whatever that is, what are you actually saying? Pay attention to what you're saying about why you haven't achieved your goals, and when you pay attention, you might hear things along the lines of, say, stories that you're telling yourself. So you're hearing the stories that you're telling yourself. So I'll give you some questions that you can ask yourself to help sort of clarify this process. But essentially this is just helping you see what's in the way of you achieving your goals, if you kind of know what you need to be doing and you're not doing it.

Fiona Kane: 2:26

What's going on? So the first question is what am I believing? So it's that thing that you say to yourself about why you haven't achieved it. What am I believing? Or you know I'm not enough, I'm not good enough, or whatever the story is. But what's the story that you're telling yourself, right? So the first question is what am I believing? So you just really understand what it is that you're saying to yourself. So, and then the next question is how am I reinforcing this belief system? So question number two is how am I reinforcing it? So number one is what am I believing? And it might be I'm not enough or I'm not good enough, or something along those lines. So then the number two is how are you reinforcing that? Well, you're probably reinforcing that by your behaviors, right? So if you believe you're not enough, maybe you're just constantly not showing up for yourself and you're not looking after yourself. So you're not eating well, you're not exercising, you're not showing up, you know you're not getting out of bed and doing something useful, you're just not showing up for yourself at all. So that's one way that maybe you're doing that.

Fiona Kane: 3:34

Another thing is you might be sabotaging your relationships or actively doing things to sabotage your goals. It's just sabotaging things in your life. So you know what are the things you're doing to reinforce this belief system? It also might be the things that you're saying to yourself, that you're constantly saying you know I'm no good and not good enough, and all that kind of stuff. You also might be not prioritizing yourself at all, so you're running around after everybody else. You're trying to make sure you do everything that everybody else wants, but not looking after you, so just prioritizing other people or other people's goals or other people's situation and not yours.

Fiona Kane: 4:14

So there's lots of different things you might be doing, but essentially it's how am I reinforcing a belief system? Because a belief system does actually have to be reinforced, because our beliefs create our behavior, they shape our environment, and our beliefs have to be reinforced somehow. That's how they become these strong beliefs. You don't just think of something once it's a strong belief, you reinforce it over, and, over and over again, and it has to be reinforced by someone in a position of authority, and in this case, it's probably you. So what are you saying? What are you doing, or what are you not doing? That is just essentially proving your belief system and reinforcing your belief system of I am not enough. So then the third thing is say you believe I'm not enough.

Fiona Kane: 5:08

The third question is what would I prefer to believe about this situation? What would I prefer to believe? And my guess is what you prefer to believe is that you are enough. That would be a guess, whatever it is. But just what is it that you would prefer? To believe that you are enough? That would be a guess, whatever it is. But just what is it that you would prefer to believe? Or I can do it, rather than I can't do it, or whatever the situation is. So what would you prefer to believe about it? And once you've decided what you'd prefer to believe about it, then the next step is to actually reinforce that new idea and that new belief system.

Fiona Kane: 5:43

And, based on the stuff I talked about last week with habits, a lot of this is about habits, right? So when you first say, you know I can do it, it will be okay, whatever, you won't believe it, but you will after time. But you will after the time. On one proviso though you won't believe it if, every day, you stay up all night gaming and then sleep in and then don't do any exercise and don't eat well and you're on a sugar roller coaster and just getting takeaway, whatever. That's not going to reinforce this belief and make you feel good about yourself, right? So you'll believe it when you show up for yourself, and that that is as simple as that.

Fiona Kane: 6:21

When you show up for yourself, right, right? So if you think about it, when, if there's people around you who you know you know the people in your life who you believe and who you trust their word, then who you don't, there's people who you know will show up, and there's and their word is their, you know their word is true. That person says I'm going to show up, they show up, and you trust those people you've. I'm going to show up, they show up and you trust those people. You've built trust with them because you know they show up. There are people that you do not trust and that you would not expect to show up, no matter what they said, right? So whatever they say, okay, you know how Fred always says that everyone laughs and says he's not going to do it. We all know he's not going to do it, right? So it's the same with yourself.

Fiona Kane: 7:03

Right To have trust in yourself and to have belief in yourself. You're going to prove to yourself that you're trustworthy, and the way you prove to yourself that you're trustworthy is you show up again and again, and again and again. Why are you going to believe you, right? So as simple as that if you want to change your belief about it, you've got to show up for yourself, and the more you show up for yourself. Going back to last week, talking about creating new habits if you haven't listened or watched that episode, go back to it just for clarification on this. You're going to create the new habits by showing up, so you create the new habits by. You know you get up at a reasonable time and you uh, you do whatever you need to do, whether it's look for a job, or whether it's go and do exercise, or whether it's eat a healthy breakfast or turn up for work and be diligent at work or whatever it looks like, but you show up for yourself. You might be reading some business books or some motivational books or watching TED Talks or whatever it is, but the things that you need to do to show up for yourself. So the question three was what would I prefer to believe about this? And essentially, the question four is then what do I need to do to reinforce that belief system? And what you need to do to reinforce it is the habits and is believe you, and you will only believe you when you show that you're trustworthy and that you can be believed. When you show that you're trustworthy and that you can be believed, that happens because you do it, because you show up. All right, as simple as that.

Fiona Kane: 8:48

So I'm going to review these just again. Today's going to be a shorter episode as well. It's okay to have short episodes. Sometimes we're all busy. So sometimes I'm here for an hour and sometimes I'm here for 10 or 15 minutes or something. That's okay. I'm here for an hour and sometimes I'm here for 10 or 15 minutes or something. That's okay, but I just want to review that, just as a reminder that you know, beliefs create our behavior and so we need to know what our beliefs are.

Fiona Kane: 9:14

And if you're not achieving something or you feel like you're not doing well with something, you really do have to be curious. Get curious, and I don't mean judgmental, I mean curious, two different things. Get curious about what's going on and why it's not happening, because beliefs do create our behavior and that shapes our environment, it shapes our future, our destiny right, and beliefs have to be reinforced somehow. And you're the one that's probably reinforcing this belief. So the four questions again, just to summarize, I'll tell you what they were.

Fiona Kane: 9:44

So the four questions what am I believing? So what is a story that you're telling yourself? How am I reinforcing, is number two. Number two is how am I reinforcing this belief system? So, whatever you believe, how are you reinforcing that? What are the behaviors you're doing, or the things you're saying, or the things you're not doing? You're not showing up for yourself. So that's reinforcing the fact that you're not enough, because you're not even prioritizing you. So of course you're not enough. And then number three is what would I prefer to believe about this? And then number four is what do I need to do to reinforce this idea, this new belief system? What is it that I need to do to reinforce that? And then, essentially, what you do is you create new habits to achieve that and you can refer to, like I said, the previous episode to this one. I'll actually on YouTube, I'll link it as well, the last episode so that you can create new habits and stick to those new habits until they become unconscious and simple and you just become the person who just does that thing, naturally right. That's how people get there. They get it just by doing it every day until it just becomes what they do. Okay, then you have a whole new belief system about yourself. When you have a whole new belief system, things change and you know things.

Fiona Kane: 11:11

Also from an energetic point of view and I've talked a little bit about energy before, but not only practically do things change. Of course, if you show up for yourself, you get momentum, you build momentum and I've talked about this before. Once you start to get momentum, start moving, then you believe in yourself more and you get more energized and you do more all of that. So when we show up for ourselves, we do get this momentum. We do build this momentum and it keeps us going. But the other thing, that and it's just dropped out of my head now the other thing I was going to say in regards to showing up for ourselves, and now it's still dropped out of my head. I'll go back to talking about momentum. I'm sure it'll get me there. That's what happens when it's fine, a bit of a brain freeze.

Fiona Kane: 12:00

Now, like I said, when you get momentum, when you're actually moving, that is what gives you more momentum. So standing still and kind of going, oh, it doesn't give you momentum. But when you actually just start moving forward, you begin to get momentum and then you begin to feel good about yourself because you're doing something. Whatever it is, you're just doing something, you're achieving something, and then what that does is it makes you feel good about yourself. But the other thing now it's come back into my brain is when you start to change what you're doing. So, besides all of the things that the changes were like, if you're exercising more obviously that might change how you feel in your body and it'll change your mental health. All of those things will benefit. If you're eating well again, that will improve your health. Blah, blah blah. So there's lots of the activities themselves will improve your health and improve your mental health and all of that. So all of those individual things you do will add up to something much bigger and be amazing for your physical and mental health.

Fiona Kane: 12:58

But on top of that, what happens is we start to, we start to resonate, or energetically, we start to attract people to us and opportunities to us. So essentially and you can tell someone when you're around people, you can tell their energy when people have got sort of good energy or bad energy or negative energy People are positive, people are negative. Sometimes you can just feel that in people right, and that's the same in you. So if you're telling yourself the story of I'm not enough, I'm not good enough, and you're doing all the habits that reinforce that, then the energy that you put off won't be an energy of like, drawing abundance and drawing great things to you. It will be the energy of like. It's a place where energy goes to die right.

Fiona Kane: 13:45

So when we essentially change these things we change our thoughts, we change our habits what happens is it just clears our energy and it actually makes us kind of a magnet for opportunities. So you'd be quite amazed at how you make changes in one area, then opportunities come, and that's why Jordan Peterson talks about making your bed and everyone's like what difference does it make if you make, um, if you make your bed? But what he's saying is that you just do one action and another action happens, and another action happens and another, and that changes your energy and changes how you feel about yourself. So really, it's just about you know, uh, getting getting yourself in order and doing actions and doing actions that ultimately help you feel better about yourself. That's what he's talking about. So just be curious about the story that you're telling yourself, because the story that you're telling yourself could be absolutely the very reason why you don't have the good habits or the supportive habits for what you want to do. So, if you want to change your habits and have improved habits, like I said, go back to the last episode, but also have a bit of be a bit curious about what you're telling yourself about this that is contributing to your outcomes. Anyway, I'll leave it there today Again, can I please ask you to like, subscribe, share and please review and please jump into wherever you are, whether it's Spotify or Apple or YouTube or Rumble, or wherever you listen to this or watch this.

Fiona Kane: 15:20

I really appreciate you getting involved and doing something to ensure that other people find out more about it and essentially, when people interact with various episodes of podcasts, that's how they get out there. Once the algorithm knows that people find it interesting and people are commenting and engaging, then it shows more people. So please do that so I can get out to more people. And thank you, everybody, and I hope you have a great week and essentially what I'm trying to do here is have real conversations about things that matter, and I will talk to you again soon. Thanks so much, bye-bye.